Adoption and Foster Care Are Not For the Weak
Being an adoptive parent or foster parent is not for the weak. I believe that it is truly a call. Many of our children have been so traumatized and most foster parents are not prepared for the long road ahead. Many parents go in very naive thinking that all the children need is a little love and care. The issues go much deeper and while yes, love and care are both important much more is required. Without prayer and support there are many days I might have tossed in the towel. I will say that in spite of the difficult days something drives me to keep going and not give up.
Most days are overwhelming and I am still learning to adjust. My first adopted child has several physiological, and health issues. He is almost five and the size of a two year old. I have been to many doctors and none of them can tell me why he won’t grow. Because he was born addicted to several drugs, most doctors just blame it on the prenatal drug exposure. We will not give up and I have several more appointments lined up as I type this.
There Is Hope
Each day I am dealing with food obsession and anxiety with my adopted children. I have children who will go in the garbage for food and eat until they regurgitate. We deal with constant lying and manipulation. My husband and I have seen things in children we did not think was possible for someone so young. I don’t allow them to see my pain because I want them to know that there is hope in Christ and things will get better. I’ve made it up in my mind that I don’t want any of my children worried or overwhelmed with the issues we face as an adoptive family.
My children did not ask for any of this. They did not ask for parents who were addicted to drugs. Our adopted children did not ask to be malnourished and rejected by their birth parents. Ill equipped to deal with the emotional ramifications of their tainted past they are left to cope any way they can. Many of their behaviors are learned and others are from trying to survive in their various past situations.
One Day At A Time
For now we take things one day at a time. I try my best to stop and enjoy the moments when they are laughing and smiling. It gives me joy when I see the moments when they are just being kids. It is my prayer that they will have more of these days and their past will no longer haunt them. I look at their beautiful faces and wish I could just make all of this away for them.
At the end of it all, I am just another mom who wants the best for her children. I don’t have it all together and I am not perfect. What I do have is faith in God. He is my strength and without Him I would not be able to do this. I know that He has a plan for my children and I will not give up on them. God does not give up on me and therefore I can’t and won’t give up on them.